Body Odor and Poop

Mmm…BO and human waste. A few of the most undesirable things to experience, especially when they come from other people. And even more especially when those other people aren’t vegan.

Come on that’s a little crazy, being vegan can’t have anything to do with it. Just because someone doesn’t eat animal products doesn’t mean they would smell like roses and excrete waste that smells like petunias. That would obviously be nonsense, right? Well, plug your nose and open your mind, because the food we eat has a lot more to do with our scents and bowel movements than some people might think.

Since humans are not physiologically designed to consume animal products, our bodies react in strange ways when we put these strange things in our bodies. Carnivores and omnivores are born with relatively short intestinal tracts and highly acid stomachs so they can quickly process meat and food from other animals. Humans on the other hand, have relatively short intestinal tracts and a less acidic stomach, making it more difficult and time consuming to process the proteins and saturated fats that are present in animal products. This means that meat, dairy, and eggs sit in the human digestive system for quite some time at almost 100 degrees Fahrenheit. As the acids, complex proteins, and fats fester in the consumer’s body, they create foul odors and substances that they body wants to excrete. Mmm. Bacon.

One of the fastest and simplest ways our bodies rid themselves of the smelly gunk is to sweat it out through our pores. Since the epidermis is the largest organ in the human body, we essentially create our own full body armor of putrid animal carcass and secretion aromas, which is what keeps deodorant and perfume companies in business. As a side note, most deodorant contains aluminum and actually seals the pores in the armpits, forcing the body to sweat out the nastiness even more profusely throughout the rest of our skin. The result of this combination is a pungent and unsanitary body odor that creates a wide space around us where no other human wants to venture.

Then there’s the poop. Those acids, proteins, and fats that build up in our frugivorous bodies can’t all escape through perspiration, and eventually nature calls the consumer to make a trip to the restroom to send Trump a fax. On the porcelain throne, the wannabe carnivore is usually met with the daunting task of having to pump out a solid mass of decomposed animal flesh or secretions, which may be the root of all disgust for the human bowel movement. After hours or days of the unnatural food source rotting in the intestinal tract, the stool our bodies create can break a blood vessel in our foreheads as we grab our ankles pushing like a mother during delivery. Not to mention it usually comes with a complimentary aroma that can cause anyone in the vicinity to evacuate the premises.

When we rid ourselves of animal flesh and secretions, and replace our fuel source with fresh fruits and vegetables, a crazy and amazing phenomenon starts to occur. Since our bodies are designed to quickly digest and assimilate the nutrients, and since fruits and veggies almost always have a pleasant if not beautiful aroma, our perspiration and bowel movements become a lot more tolerable.

Many vegans report that they no longer feel the need to use deodorant, or at least they switch to something more subtle like baking soda or coconut oil. They also frequently say that their stools exit their bodies much more easily, and while they may not be creating a new line of cologne with the aroma its usually a huge improvement over the confused carnivorous variety.

Blah blah blah yea right. Does anyone think there’s any truth to this? Well, the people who have changed their lifestyles by removing animal products from their diet say so. If you don’t believe them, then maybe it’s worth an experiment to see for yourself. If you currently eat meat, dairy, and/or eggs, try eating a diet of mostly fruit with some leafy greens and herbs for a few days and see how your body reacts. You may end up sweating and excreting a lot of toxins at first as your body is getting rid of the acids, proteins, and fats, but chances are soon enough you won’t have quite the need for odor masking products and you’ll be skipping away from your trips to the loo.

And here comes the vegan plug. Now you have yet another reason to be kind and compassionate to the animals. It’ll be a win-win for the friends, family, and strangers around you whose noses are within your aromatic aura as well as the ease and tolerable content of your messages to the president.

Pretty vegan scents. Get some!